Monday, December 29, 2014

He was perfectly human. I love him flaws and all.

The beginning of 2014 I lost a VERY precious light in my life.My Grannie McNew, I lost her in January... and in the last month of 2014, I lost my dad. I knew I loved him, I just never knew how much until he left.
I never have missed someone so much in my life... I realized the things I shoulda or woulda said if I had the chance again. I woke up today from a dream that my dad was in. He didn't say a word.
I was not going to say anything to him, and then I remembered what I needed to say to him!
I walked over and looked him right in the eyes and told him, that I love him SO much, and that I LOVE his smile. He smiled, and then I woke up. I felt a release. I felt peace. I felt loved.
Today is my Grannie's b-day, she would have been 91 years old. I miss them both and love them very much!  Please let the people you love know that you love them. If there are walls up just say what you need to say anyway! Life is so very short!
I will miss them every day until I am with them again in heaven. I hope and pray 2015 is so much better than 2014 was.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

More human than human...

I have decided that I am sick of many, many, things in my life. One of the top 4 is disrespect directed towards me. In any form.
I knew a long time ago that people only do to you what you allow them to do!
Somehow, somewhere along this journey of my life I lost sight of that?
I have heard things I never would have dreamed,  I would have heard said to me.
I have had things done to me I would have swore 14 years ago... would never have been done to me!
I also myself have said and done things that I am very ashamed of!!
Maybe I justified doing and sayings those thing because it was in retaliation?
There is REALLY no justifying things like that on either end of the situation tho.
Humans make me sad, I feel so very human today. Perfectly imperfect and broken.
If you are reading this say a prayer for me. <3